Wednesday Weirdness

1. If you were to be reincarnated as an inanimate object, what would you choose to come back as?

A mirror,because people put you in their most intimate of rooms (bedroom/bathroom) so just imagine the hours of awesome stuff you'll get to see.Also,people are scared shitless at the idea of breaking you (that whole 7 years bad luck thing) so they take extra care of you.

2. If you were told that you would be equipped with the perfect comeback to any remark, but it would cost you five years of your life would you take it?

No,I don't mind having mediocre comebacks,and I'm sure not gona sacrifice 5 years of my life for a comeback of which the glory will only last about 2 minutes or so.

3. What would be the most shocking thing your mom could have ever told you?

That she never loved any of us and had numerous affairs.That would kind of suck.

4. If you could spend 24 hours as the opposite gender, what would you do?

I would masturbate for a few hours.Drink loads of beer so that I could pee standing up,as often as I could.Walk past a hot girl and make inappropriate remarks.Scratch my groin constantly.Clean my teeth with a pocketknife.Eat pizza out of the box and let out a really loud belch afterwards.Basically everything normal guys do everyday,that girls can't really do,because it isn't ladylike.Ugh.

5. Describe the ugliest outfit you have ever worn in public.

I generally play it safe,so there really aren't any major disasters,but I would have to say my school uniform.I looked like a dowdy old nurse in that thing.So it was really awesome having to wear it for 12 years of my life.

6. Do you like to celebrate Valentine's Day or do you wish you could magically pouf it from the calendar? If you did, what holiday would you invent to put in its place?

I really don't like Valentine's Day,because it is such a super sappy celebration of something that should be celebrated that same way,for a much bigger part of the year than just one day.In its place I would put Procrastination Day,which is basically a continuation of most of my year anyway,except for on this day,you are actually meant to do nothing,and not even try to make yourself do something worthwhile.

{Questions courtesy of Wednesday Weirdness}