I hate money

My best friend L and I have been chatting the whole week on Facebook,and there has been a very distinct theme to most of the conversations.Money,or the lack thereof,to be more exact.It basically goes something like this:

L: Ugh,I am so broke,and I still have to do this and this,and it's gona cost a shitload of money.

Me: Ugh,I am so broke,I really wanted to do this and this,but everything costs a shitload of money.

So yeah,not very entertaining,but very true.I am so tired of having to be content with the cheapest of everything,and the very minimum of everything.I know,in my rational mind,that there are plenty,plenty of people in this world that are way worse off than I am at the moment,but in my emotional,overly dramatic mind,I am like a little child throwing a tantrum,because I can't get what I want.

I know money is needed to survive,to buy food,clothes,living space,whatever,but that doesn't stop me from TOTALLY hating it.If I had a choice,I would be living up in the mountains in some little wooden cabin,surviving off of what nature provides me,because I am sick and tired of worrying every month about a few pieces of dumbass paper,that I've basically 'spent',even before I've gotten paid.Because month after month,my budget is so completely stretched tight and to the limit,that by the time I get my salary,most everything is spent on the very first day already.That is actually the part that really busts my nuts (if I actually had any),let's make it my metaphorical nuts,because after that,I know that for the rest of the month,I will have to live like a complete recluse,because there won't be money to go out,take out some movies,go visit friends,have a little get-together,have some take-out,nothing.

Like I said,I know I'm much better off than lots of other people,I'm not starving and I still have a place to live and work,but honestly,its really hard to think of the positives,when the negatives are all that consume my mind.

Ok,my money-rant is officially over...at least until the next time I feel the pressure building up.So I'll probably be ranting again next month.

Debbie Downer?No,more like Penny Pathetic

This is getting to be a real trend now.Me being depressed every Friday.Weekends are supposed to be fun!Not for me,I'm just feeling like there's this huge black cloud above my head,and no matter how much I try to stay positive,the week just works at my positivity like an axe,and by Friday I'm in such a state that my whole weekend is ruined.

I got my salary today,and was pleasantly surprised to see that I got a little bit of a raise.Now,in today's economic situation,that is a miracle in itself,but you know what?My raise is supposed to be R250.00,which isn't much,but is still a LOT better than nothing.But my happiness was short lived,when at the very end of my payslip,I saw the amount I would get out after my medical aid and everything was subtracted.My actual raise is only R30!Geez,I can't even buy 2 bottles of Coke with that!

After already feeling like a shithouse rat,this was just too much,and I burst out in tears...in my office...at 9 in the morning.I think my co-workers now think I'm crazy.

Well,their not wrong,I guess.

Even my blood tells me to 'B Negative'

It's not my fault that I tend to be a naturally depressed and negative person,it's in my blood.My B- blood,to be exact.

And just to show it was meant to be,my mom and brother are both O+,my dad was B+,and both my sisters are B+ as well.

So you see?I'm unique,and was always meant to be the grumpy,sarcastic,pessimistic girl I am today.

Something interesting:

Blood group distribution in South Africa
The general distribution of blood groupings in South Africa is illustrated in the table below.

Group + — Total
O 38% 7% 45%
A 34% 6% 40%
B 9% 2% 11% * see!I'm unique! At least in South Africa
AB 3% 1% 4%
Total 84% 16% 100%

It is important to note that it may vary between specific regions and particular racial or ethnic groups.

The terms "universal donor" and "universal recipient" were coined when it was demonstrated that it is relatively safe to give O- blood to patients of any blood group, and that blood from all groups can be given to AB+ patients.

Recipient Donor AB+ is a universal recipient


O-; is a universal donor
Type O- O+ B- B+ A- A+ AB- AB+
AB+ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
AB- ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
A+ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
A- ♥ ♥
B+ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
B- ♥ ♥
O+ ♥ ♥
O- ♥

The chart above illustrates that group O blood is the most versatile.

Read some more about blood groups here.

Feeling bland on Friday

It's nearly lunch time on a Friday,and I'm not even excited that its nearly weekend.I'm always excited for the weekends,even if we don't have anything planned.Not today.I guess I'm starting to feel the funk that a lot of the bloggers I follow have been writing about.I had so hoped it would skip me,but I've never been very lucky,and sure as I'm sitting here,the funk has got me.And unfortunately its not the fun 70's music style I'm talking about.

Firstly,I'm really,really missing my best friend.We chatted again on Facebook this morning,and everytime we talk about when we can maybe get together and see each other again,we end up realising neither one of us has any money for a long trip,and she just started her new job,so she can't take leave yet,and also,she and her boyfriend are still living with other people,so we can't stay with them if we want to visit.And I definitely don't have money to stay in a hotel or something.They happen to live in a very sought after little seaside town,so accommodation is very expensive.

Like I said,I'm completely broke right now,and can therefor not buy any groceries,so the cupboards at home are so empty right now,and it's kind of an attack on my soul having to prepare the same meal every night,because there are only the same 3 or 4 ingredients in the house.I'm not a good cook to begin with,but when your ingredient options are so extremely limited,it makes cooking even more difficult.

JC isn't in a very good mood these days.And like always,he clams up and refuses to talk about whatever is bothering him.But to be quite honest,I'm not even in the mood to try and drag it out of him,because I have my own depressing thoughts to occupy my time,and don't even feel like helping him solve whatever problem he has.What does piss me off though,is that when he is in this type of bad mood,he completely cuts off all physical contact with me.So no real kissing or hand holding or sleeping all snuggled up.That is what really gets me.

I keep thinking about the money we owe,and how we're going to pay it all back and how long it's going to take,and it makes me so sad,because at the rate we are going,we'll only be paid off in 3 years,and then we can only start saving for getting married.It's times like this that I think Brangelina has the right idea,and I just feel like SCREW IT,I refuse to get married,I'm just going to go on like I am right now.

There are some more stuff bothering me,but I don't think it would be wise to write about it,because I'm depressed enough as it is.

I seriously need to get drunk,like pronto!Why is alcohol so freaking expensive?And why can't I get my salary in the half of the month?Why do I have to wait til the very end for it?Life is soooo unfair.

:-(

Feeling sad

i know i was very happy and optimistic a few days ago,but all of a sudden things are starting to feel not so nice again.

don't know where it always comes from,but i just got a call from another freaking creditor looking for my boyfriend.so i suppose that has something to do with my blues.

look,i love my boyfriend to death.and will always,but he has absolutely no money-skills,and makes debt everywhere he goes,because he lives under this illusion that tomorrow will take care of itself.so eventually i end up being the one who stresses about getting his debts paid,before he gets into some kind of trouble.

and i have to say,i am pretty tired of it.i stress really easily,and about even the smallest things,so all of these money problems are making me feel like i want to crawl into the fetal position and just cry and never stop crying.

hopefully tomorrow will look better.i hate feeling like this.